Have you ever been asked, “What are we going to do today?”

I know if you are like me and you have an elementary aged boy around your house, you have been asked again, and again and again.  I have been getting asked quite a bit to go various places.  “Hey dad, when can we go camping?”  “Hey dad let’s go get some ice cream?”  “Hey dad, when can I go back to school?”  (Actually just kidding about that one.) A couple of weeks ago, we had a ton of options.  Movies?  Trampoline park?  Go out to eat?  Go play at a playground?  How about the library?  There were a lot of things to do, but now as we sit here under some type of lockdown, the options have begun to feel really dried up.  This can really begin a spiral can’t it.  Everything is going great and then the next thing you know, melt down city!  Then before you know it, the kids melt down as well.

So what do we do?  How about retreating to our phones or laptops and take a deep dive onto social media.  You are just in time to see how organized everyone else is, how sweet their kids are, or how picture perfect their family is.  Now you have moved from being upset to getting this not so pleasant feeling of disappointment followed by a little bit of guilt topped off with a small dose of failure.  You compared your worst to everyone else’s best and you are miserable.

This can’t be the new reality right?  There has got to be more than this.  The reality is that this is a whole new reality for all of us.  Whether single and living alone or living with a house full of spouse and children, life has been turned on its head.  So now what?  So what do we do today?

 

We all are so different and our situations are so varied, but maybe some of the following suggestions will help.

  1. Rest and relaxation.  I would encourage you to rest in the fact this is all new for everyone.  Take a deep breath.  Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to do it right.  Relax in the grace of God.  Remember he picked you to raise these children and He is always with you.  He is the only one really in control anyway.
  2.  Get yourself connected.  Get some face time (virtually) with your friends and family.  Pray with your relatives.  Tell old stories with your parents.  Laugh with your Life Group.  Start a new virtual Bible study with your friends.  Help your kids have a party over Zoom.  Eye contact is important and until we can all be face to face, get connected virtually.
  3. Know when to hold ‘em.  I know we all have plans to keep our kids busy.  Make sure they knock out their chores, learn how to sew buttons, churn butter, all before breakfast.  It’s ok.  They will do ok sometimes, and sometimes they won’t.  Structure is great and important, but sometimes they just need you to stop and give them some eye contact and attention.  Give them a big ole hug and just be with them.
  4. Get out!  The sun and fresh, maybe, cool air is good for you.  Make walks (with appropriate social distancing with those you pass by) a daily habit.  Enjoy the time outside and even if you go by yourself, take time and look around.  You might be surprised what you see out there.
  5. Let it go.  Not much new is happening in the news or in the world.  Everything is slowing down and everyone is inside.  Maybe you don’t always need the latest information.  If you find yourself facing anxiety, worry or stress, put the news away for a little bit.  Don’t worry someone will let you know if there is a big change.
  6. Toughen up.  Roll up your sleeves and have your children do their school work and their chores.  There may be pushback.  Youtube, video games, or whatever is much easier than the productive things you want them to do.  They may want to do the easier thing and avoid their responsibilities.  Make them do it!  Push through the resistance.  You are tough and you can do it.  You are the parent; their friends are all in their homes.  Toughen up and stand strong.  You got this.
  7. Pray.  Probably the first thing you should do, but to be honest, in the midst of the noise and my desire to do a good job, I forgot all about it.  Hmm, that might be a part of the problem.

We hope you’ll find that Grace is somewhere that you can feel comfortable to explore faith, ask questions, grow spiritually, and connect with others. And most importantly, of course, we hope you connect with God!

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