Just One Thing

Many of us are facing a new undertaking.  For the first time, we are working from home.  Our normal ways of relaxing by watching sports, sitting with a friend over coffee or going to the movies or a show aren’t available anymore.  This might be the first time you wore a mask since a childhood halloween costume.  Or maybe you are a very social person and now you find yourself all alone and it feels a little overwhelming. The extra time at home has now removed your blinders and you begin to see all the house projects that need to be accomplished.  For many of us, a major source of frustration during this period of time in our country comes back to parenting.  You love those children, but all of a sudden, with all of this time together, you begin to see that they have a long way to go (you notice that about yourself too, but that’s for another blog).  So, what do you do?  So much to improve and so many things you want them to know, where do you begin?  I would encourage you start with one thing.

As a child growing up, my mom knew the importance of not trying to fix everything about me or to teach me everything all at once, she focused on one main character trait.  I was incredibly fortunate to be raised by a mom and dad who followed Jesus and did all they could to point me in His direction.  My mom knew me so well and she had a simple message.  It was “Bradley, be a Daniel!  Always be willing to stand alone!”  She was referencing the Daniel of the Bible who survived the lions den and lived his life righteously, even if that meant he was on the outside looking in.  

“Be willing to stand alone!” She would tell me this all the time.  She knew my weakness of wanting to be liked and the dangers of me always wanting to fit in.  She would find various ways to bring this up and of course would teach me all kinds of things, but her message was consistent, loud and clear:  I was to be a Daniel!  She knew God had created me for a purpose and she knew that I needed to follow Him no matter what.  This is a message I hear to this day. In many situations, my moms voice is heard and I remember the vision she had for me.  

What do we do?  Where and how do we begin?  Here are four ways that could put you down the path of helping your child develop into the person God made them to be:

1. Unique Vision:  Each child is so uniquely and wonderfully made. Because of that reason, each one has different weaknesses and tendencies to drift from whom they were made to be.  Look deeply at your child and study them to see where they tend to struggle.  Maybe your child is always fearful.  Maybe they have a tendency to bend the truth or to be sneaky.  Maybe they always take the easy way out.  As lovely as they are, they aren’t perfect.  What is one thing you notice about them that stands out as an area to improve?
2. One Direction:  After seeing their weak or blind spot, the next thing is to figure out where you want to point them.  Who do you see that they can become?  If your child is alway fearful, a direction is to push them to courage.  If they are bend the truth, the direction would be toward integrity.  If they are always taking the easy way out or if they quit easily, a direction would be resiliency or perseverance.
3. Message:  You know who they can be come so how do you tell them and what do you tell them to do?  Find a simple message that is easy to repeat and to remember.  Something quick that you can say in a text, over breakfast, in the carpool line or at bedtime, then tell them.  “Be strong and courageous!”  “Don’t be afraid!”  My mom found her message in the Bible.  Maybe if your child is fearful, point them to Joshua and your message could be, “Be strong and courageous!”  Or maybe its studying Ruth and her devotion to something bigger than herself.  Use her to share a message of devotion.  What is the one message you want your child to hear?
4. Be Lovingly Consistent:  Say it over and over.  Of course, don’t be obnoxious, but find ways to continually remind them of who they can become.  

The list of things that you want to improve in your child can be overwhelming.  Start with focusing on one thing and find a way to give your child a vision that is bigger than themselves.  They might not get it now, but, who knows, one day they may be old and have family of their own, and when they need it most, they will hear your voice pointing them where to go.